Movies that make me happy

Posted on May 15, 2012 by Ria Loader

I get my love of movies from my parents. When I was a sprat, I’d try all kinds of strategies to stay up later and watch movies with my parents. They liked musicals and westerns, dramas and comedies, love stories and tales of swashbuckling pirates. It often surprises me how much we talked about the stories, and about the books that inspired them. Years later, what I remember most is the movies that were just about feeling good. Some were diversions created to boost morale during the Second World War; others were pure entertainment created in the era of the Hollywood studio machine. As a family, we loved the classics best.

Harvey – about a six foot tall white invisible phouka called Harvey, and his gently alcoholic and pleasant human companion, Elwood P Dowd, or is that vice versa? I loved this tale at the time, and it continues to be one of my favorite movies of all time.

Mary Poppins – I loved the books, the stage play is terrific, and the Disney movie is a lot of fun too. The wind changes, and blows in a new nanny for the children of this family. Mary Poppins is part fairy, part witch, and all about improbable circumstances. Whimsical and serious by turns, it features Julie Andrews as Mary Poppins, and Dick Van Dyke in a range of roles.

Auntie Mame – Who wouldn’t want an Aunt like Mame? Eccentric, bohemian, extravagant and devoted to her nephew. Another wonderful musical.

Singing in the Rain– One of many great Gene Kelly dance movies.One of my first leading men, I fell for his charm, his smile, and the way he was comfortable in his body, a wonderful choreographer and dancer. Another favorite with him as leading man was For Me and My Gal.

The Unsinkable Molly Brown – A wonderful tale of an indominatable woman who was rescued from a river as a child, grew into a tomboy determined to marry a rich man, and who was brassy, bold and determined to live the good life. Through various trials and tribulations, adulation and rejection, she found her way into people’s hearts as a hero who saved people from a sinking ship, the Titanic. The critics didn’t always love this movie, but we did. It’s outrageous, over the top, and delightful.

Being passionate

Posted on May 4, 2012 by Ria Loader

I just found this terrific quote about love and passion, and about how passion ignites our imagination, from Joss Whedon, and it inspired me to think about what passion means to me. It is red. Passion is sex and creativity, energy and vitality. It is about being alive, about all the brain cells firing…feelings running wild like lightning, inspiring us to move, move move. To me it is that voice in the back of my brain saying “do something, do something”, anything. Make stuff. Make love. Make art. Make connections.

Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping… waiting… and though unwanted… unbidden… it will stir… open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us… guides us… passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love… the clarity of hatred… and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we’d know some kind of peace… but we would be hollow… Empty rooms shuttered and dank… – Joss Whedon

I cannot imagine life without connection, without passionate, committed opinions about things. I am a definite kind of person; guess I have been for as long as I can remember, even as a little girl. Almost especially as a little girl. I love storytellers and tales about heroes, and I love the story about the young person making their way in the world, growing into it, becoming someone unexpected. All of these tales have, as part of them, people who are willing to put their feelings on the line, to tell it like it is, to stand up for what they believe in. For me, that is one of the core things about happiness and love. For me, you are as defined by those things you stand against, as by those things you stand for. Standing against injustice, standing for honor and honesty and the struggle to be real. Those are the beginning of the things I care about.

And I care about the little stuff, because there is, in a sense, no little stuff. Being mean is not an option. One of my favorite movies is “Harvey”, and the character of Elwood P. Dowd. He says at one point that his mother had given him advice about there being two kinds of people in the world, ones who were oh so pleasant, and ones who were oh so clever. And he said he’d tried both, and preferred the former. I have a terrific friend who reminds me very much of this character. While she is wicked smart, she prefers to be pleasant. And that makes her great to be around. At the same time, she is very passionate about life, people and books. And that makes her even more fun.

Any time you can share praise, give honest appreciation, be kind to someone, you’re making another connection in the world, becoming a more passionate and connected person. I believe that to love deeply, it is important to be passionate, enthusiastic, and caring about the people you interact with in the world. Be passionate. Anything else lacks conviction.

Attitudes of gratitude

Posted on April 20, 2012 by Ria Loader

There’s a fabulous book about gratitude by M J Ryan, Attitudes of Gratitude. I like it so much, I give copies to friends, recommend it, and keep a lending copy on hand as well. Go buy it. One of her first quotes is from Milton Erickson. He was an amazing M.D. who worked out useful things about how people think, and applied that knowledge to helping people make changes in their lives.

Life will bring you pain all by itself.
Your responsibility is to create joy.

She goes through the book giving examples of how to give and receive joy every day of your life. She talks about ways that gratitude erases worry, increases health, and enhances relationships, and it in this relationship area I want to focus today.

For years, my sweetie has put out vitamins for me in the morning, knowing that I stumble around for the first half hour, and likely would not open all the bottles to make decisions about what to take. This act of service, of thoughtfulness, tells me every day how much I am appreciated. It makes me grateful for the care, and the love in the gesture, especially as it is not something I take for granted. Every day, I walk to the same place in the kitchen and put on some tea, and right there is a dish (usually a pretty glass one) with my vitamins in it. it feels like am embrace; every day it makes me smile. Once I’ve taken the vitamins, I can go to my desk, and drink the tea while it is still hot.

During the day, we send notes in email, sometimes a picture or a link to a fun article. These are all ways of showing our appreciation for each other’s time. That way, when we see each other, we can be in the moment, and present.

Setting the stage for happiness

Posted on April 12, 2012 by Ria Loader

For me, happiness is a transitory state, much like optimism. Yet there are things I do to set the stage for it, to prepare for good fortune to enter in, and to celebrate it when it arrives. Some of that is gratitude for the good things that have gone before, and some of it is awareness that good things happen if you set your mind and will to it. One of my favorite artists, Austin Osman Spare, had a formula for setting his will in motion.

He would start with “This my will that…(specifiy exactly) …” and would end with “so mote it be!”, a formula that I’ve found very successful. It took me a while to get the specifics as, well, specific as they needed to be.

This my will that I will

get enough sleep to feel rested and refreshed for the next 3 nights
just for today, be free from worry
smile at co-workers when I see them
express appreciation to at least one person

It varies from day to day, however, the pattern is a repeated one. Over time, if I focus on the statements, and write them down, they manifest in the world.

When I set the stage for happiness by planning to manifest it in the world, it tends to arrive with satisfying repetition.

Happiness grows on you

Posted on February 14, 2012 by Ria Loader

In the beginning, those lovely endorphins and brain chemicals say “wheee” and other non-verbal things to the brain that let me know I’m having a good time. The more I notice how much I’m enjoying myself, the more feedback I get, and the better it all feels. This must be what positive reinforcement is all about.

At some point I noticed that repetition of happy-making things made for more of the good feeling, and I started turning my attention deliberately towards those things. Someone said protein would wake up my brain faster than coffee, and, for me, it works. Replacing morning coffee with a protein shake with iced tea, protein powder, soy milk (no added sweetener), and some juice kicks off the day to a great start. And if it starts that way, it trends on staying that way through my commute.

I was reading a bunch of things about keeping blood sugar neutral, or at least within normal ranges recently. It seemed most experts agreed on regular meals of a smaller amount, rather than the three solid meals plan that I’d grown up with. Not everyone agreed on what should be in those smaller meals, so I started experimenting. It seemed a combination of carbs and proteins hit the spot. It might be a handful of rice crackers, and some cheese; or some dried fruit with cashews; or mixed grain cereal with coconut or almond milk; even goat cheese and corn chips, just so long as there’s a mix of things, not much bigger than my hand. Some days, depending on the length of the day, that means a bunch of snacks. A friend swears by cut up apples with peanut butter as her favorite snack, and some prefer celery with the peanut butter, though it sticks in my teeth, and I like it on toast.

Am loving the idea of growing happiness by feeding it good nutrients, some attention, and deliberate repetition of the good stuff.

Loving happiness

Love, happiness and making

Category Archives: happiness